Normalcy...

Normalcy.

I want, no excuse me, I urn to be normal, to have a normal life.

What is normal? I ask myself that everyday. I still don't have an answer to that question. Over the years, even before kids, I have listened/read about peoples personal lives. Usually through a story they are telling or blog or even now facebook. I have built up so many of these peoples lives to where they live these fairytale lives with a perfect (clean) house, king of a husband, and the best, well behaved kids...oh and not to mention their million dollar bank accounts. And the more I build on their lives, the more, much more my life seems so dysfunctional.

Why do I do this? I have no idea, I think envy has a huge roll in it. But I only know what goes on behind my closed door. I have no idea what goes on behind yours or my neighbors, but I can tell you what I think goes on behind your door. And believe me, your life is AWESOME!

But what is reality, and where is it? What is normal? Do we make our own norm? I think we do. I am not an unhappy person. I am not unhappy with my life/husband/kids. I love every aspect of our hard worked for lives. But why do I constantly think our lives are so upside down compared to others. We just do everything backwards. For starters we eat dinner any where from 5-11 at night. We have always had screwy work schedules that make our hours weird, but with kids, this just isn't working any more.

I can no longer blame it on the fact we had a baby, our first baby, that is now 3! I can't blame it on toodlerhood. I can't blame it on a pregnancy. I can't blame it on an infant. I can't blame it on nursing. My life is what it is. And its going to remain this way. I have to adjust to my new normalcy. I can't try to change my life to make it like yours, or Joe's or Jane's. It can only be Matt, Amanda, Ryan, and Harrison's life.

So a few weeks ago I decided to make small changes/actions in my life so I can adjust to this. It started with painting my fingernails once a week. I paint them on Sunday and keep on top of them all week. Once I realized all I need is polish, not to buff/file/base coat/polish/top coat, it made this task much easier. I was trying to live up to some else's standards that I just can't have...I am a mommy of two you know :) I have that task down, its no biggie, and my nails always look great!

So starting this week, I decided to start making one new/old recipe a week. I used to cook all the time, and good stuff too! Over the last couple of months we have been in a rut with the same stuff, and not very good. And lots of take out, since "it's just easier". I will work my way up to more a week once I can get down once a week.

This week was meatball subs, per Matt's request. And it was yummy!I am going to try to post once a week, giving weekly updates on us and the kids, along with a picture of my new food.

Once I get this down with no problem, I will start a new task...and all in the search/goal to normalcy.